Past my bedtime but I found myself thinking about things and couldn't stop myself. Another A-ha! moment for me. I think everyone labels me as a shopaholic. Yes, I admit that I was once a shopaholic who couldn't survive without going shopping at least 4 days a week? You know how sometimes people tend to either overeat, or overshop (if there's such a term) when they're emotionally unstable? Yes, I was emotionally unstable everyday of my life up until when, well, my previous relationship ended. I wasn't happy and I had to look for happiness elsewhere. Shopping. Then, when I finally got out from the golden cage I was trapped in, I found my own happiness, true happiness which I can hold on to *clap clap*.
Why I randomly blog about this is because I was wondering why I haven't shop or even bother to shop at all for weeks now. And I'm only deprived of socialising. Nothing else. So there I go, found my answer to my own question. And decided to blog instead of talk to myself in my sleep. Thanks.
love, dreamer.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
Nothing Lasts Forever
I have always believed that nothing good lasts forever. I don't know if that's being pessimistic, or realistic. But it has always proved to be true. The only thing which lasts forever are diamonds. But then again, who am I to be sure of that? We say that nothing good lasts forever when something good in our life goes away. But we say the opposite when good things are happening to us. I can't wait to be proven wrong about what I believe :)
Note: The title to this entry was inspired by a friend's quote I came across.
Note: The title to this entry was inspired by a friend's quote I came across.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Rudd wins
Apart from suffering muscle aches and hunger and packing my stuff, one thing managed to make my day a little better. At last, Australia is a member of Kyoto Protocol. Hopefully the US will join too one day, as it is the biggest contributor of green gas emissions. Go Rudd! He truly is winning Australians' support by signing the agreement to tackle climate change. Yeay. Finally the voices of concerned Australians are heard. Oh well, Australia is one of the biggest contributors of green gas emissions too, so I'm happy they're taking responsibilities on their actions. Other than that, I know nothing about politics and am not interested.
I hope Malaysians will be just as concerned as Australians about climate change one day. KL city is suffering from chronic air pollution every year and I am absolutely shocked by how everyone is complaining about it, but make no effort to solve the problem. Hello? I think that is the problem with Malaysians. We complain and we expect the government to do something about it rather than taking part in solving the problem. Does it have anything to do with our country not controlled by a Democratic government? My knowledge in that area is very limited, thanks. People complain about their problems, over-think about their problems, but they don't try to work on solutions. Life is too short for that.
10 days to pure happiness :)
I hope Malaysians will be just as concerned as Australians about climate change one day. KL city is suffering from chronic air pollution every year and I am absolutely shocked by how everyone is complaining about it, but make no effort to solve the problem. Hello? I think that is the problem with Malaysians. We complain and we expect the government to do something about it rather than taking part in solving the problem. Does it have anything to do with our country not controlled by a Democratic government? My knowledge in that area is very limited, thanks. People complain about their problems, over-think about their problems, but they don't try to work on solutions. Life is too short for that.
10 days to pure happiness :)
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Miss Cranky
Hi,
Miss Cranky started being friends with me again a few days ago. Hi Miss Cranky, haven't seen you for a while.
I am easily irritated these days and the bitch in me is waiting oh-so-desperately to come out one of these days. Yes, I am very cranky and easily irritated. No, not having my menses. So people, I would like to apologise for my future comings of rude-ness. Don't even bother asking why (see, rude-ness alert).
I am going back on the 13th of December, 2 weeks from now. That actually adds up to the pressure I am having now. Excited, but very much pressured. Looking forward to it, but not too much.
Miss Cranky started being friends with me again a few days ago. Hi Miss Cranky, haven't seen you for a while.
I am easily irritated these days and the bitch in me is waiting oh-so-desperately to come out one of these days. Yes, I am very cranky and easily irritated. No, not having my menses. So people, I would like to apologise for my future comings of rude-ness. Don't even bother asking why (see, rude-ness alert).
I am going back on the 13th of December, 2 weeks from now. That actually adds up to the pressure I am having now. Excited, but very much pressured. Looking forward to it, but not too much.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Men don't complete women
How many times in your life have you heard people around you saying "He/she completes me"? I think that phrase is so misused that it is coming to a point where it doesn't bring that much of a meaning anymore. Ladies, men in your life don't complete you. Your other half doesn't complete you. They only add up to your happiness in your life. I got this message on Oprah a couple of months ago and it felt like it's speaking to me. You have to make yourself feel complete first before you let someone in your life. A recipe for disaster: depending on your partner for your happiness.
From my point of view, and experience, and observations, letting your partner control your happiness will only bring you down faster than you can imagine. Seriously, not only "You are the air that I breathe" sounds corny, it is also plain stupid. That's like letting your partner control how you feel. I think that before you let someone take your breath away, you need to catch a breath first. That means that you have found your own happiness, you know what makes you happy and how to make yourself happy. That way, when your partner fails to make you happy at some points in your relationship, it won't bring you down and instead helps you focus on other things which makes you happy. That is the ticket to a healthy lifestyle (no?).
Men only make our world a better place, not complete it :)
P/s: I so love this and this and this. Hahaha!
From my point of view, and experience, and observations, letting your partner control your happiness will only bring you down faster than you can imagine. Seriously, not only "You are the air that I breathe" sounds corny, it is also plain stupid. That's like letting your partner control how you feel. I think that before you let someone take your breath away, you need to catch a breath first. That means that you have found your own happiness, you know what makes you happy and how to make yourself happy. That way, when your partner fails to make you happy at some points in your relationship, it won't bring you down and instead helps you focus on other things which makes you happy. That is the ticket to a healthy lifestyle (no?).
Men only make our world a better place, not complete it :)
P/s: I so love this and this and this. Hahaha!
Monday, November 26, 2007
A step forward
Hi,
I'm supposed to be cleaning up the never-ending rubbish which I have accumulated for the past 2 years but there are just too much junk that I don't know where to start. I'm hoping that someone would come to help me out. The hardest thing to throw out is my magazines which I have been subscribing to. There are too many papers to be recycled that I think I can save a forest. Went to the J.P's office today and good news is that she said I can lodge my application when I come back to Australia before my student visa expires which is in March 08. Which means I can go back to k.l anytime I want but all flights are sold out. Rar.
I am scared and uncertain about moving forward. I hope that I pass my exams so that I can safely say that I am done with my degree. I can't believe that 4 years ago I just finished high school and thought to myself.."Gosh, I still have 4 more years of studying." And here I am, being presented with many opportunities ahead of me. Hell, I can even have a baby if I wanna! But I am so not ready to grow up and be a responsible adult. Give me a few months and I'll be on the right track. I want to do so many things (cos I always want everything, pfft) but given the limited resources and skills, I should just stick to what I can do. I am so glad that I have grown with my fellow friends together and embarked on this challenging yet interesting journey of growing up.
Life is too wonderful to be taken too seriously. And that is something I want to learn and appreciate.
I'm supposed to be cleaning up the never-ending rubbish which I have accumulated for the past 2 years but there are just too much junk that I don't know where to start. I'm hoping that someone would come to help me out. The hardest thing to throw out is my magazines which I have been subscribing to. There are too many papers to be recycled that I think I can save a forest. Went to the J.P's office today and good news is that she said I can lodge my application when I come back to Australia before my student visa expires which is in March 08. Which means I can go back to k.l anytime I want but all flights are sold out. Rar.
I am scared and uncertain about moving forward. I hope that I pass my exams so that I can safely say that I am done with my degree. I can't believe that 4 years ago I just finished high school and thought to myself.."Gosh, I still have 4 more years of studying." And here I am, being presented with many opportunities ahead of me. Hell, I can even have a baby if I wanna! But I am so not ready to grow up and be a responsible adult. Give me a few months and I'll be on the right track. I want to do so many things (cos I always want everything, pfft) but given the limited resources and skills, I should just stick to what I can do. I am so glad that I have grown with my fellow friends together and embarked on this challenging yet interesting journey of growing up.
Life is too wonderful to be taken too seriously. And that is something I want to learn and appreciate.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Go Green!
Hi,
Labour won the election. Kevin Rudd is the new Prime Minister of Australia (Jijo please take note of this :p). Anyways I am very much looking forward to going back to k.l on the 18th December. I will definitely have my double mushroom swiss at Burger King first at KLIA then I will have my supper at a mamak after I have surprised my family. Now my problem is who is going to pick me up at the airport since I'm not telling anyone I'm coming back on the 18th. Everyone thinks I'm coming back on the 30th. Haha! I have a strong feeling that I might bring forward my flight to the 13th of December if I can get the documents for my TR application ready as soon as possible.
My brother is definitely getting married in July next year. We're going to Jakarta in January (Kak Nana I am hoping that you would come along, please!). The best part about weddings is that family friends come up to your parents and they compliment on how you've grown to be a pretty girl and how they want to matchmake you with their sons. We girls get that, yes? I'm hungry. Bye.
Labour won the election. Kevin Rudd is the new Prime Minister of Australia (Jijo please take note of this :p). Anyways I am very much looking forward to going back to k.l on the 18th December. I will definitely have my double mushroom swiss at Burger King first at KLIA then I will have my supper at a mamak after I have surprised my family. Now my problem is who is going to pick me up at the airport since I'm not telling anyone I'm coming back on the 18th. Everyone thinks I'm coming back on the 30th. Haha! I have a strong feeling that I might bring forward my flight to the 13th of December if I can get the documents for my TR application ready as soon as possible.
My brother is definitely getting married in July next year. We're going to Jakarta in January (Kak Nana I am hoping that you would come along, please!). The best part about weddings is that family friends come up to your parents and they compliment on how you've grown to be a pretty girl and how they want to matchmake you with their sons. We girls get that, yes? I'm hungry. Bye.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Oprah's 'Live Your Best Life'
I have had this book with me for nearly 2 years. And only tonight I decided to look through it and got hooked on it for almost 3 hours. It has 3 parts consisting of Your Personal Best, Relationships, and Living in the World. Of course, I got hooked on the Relationships section which discusses everything from dating, couples, marriage, sex, parenting, etc.
While reading the relationships section, I couldn't stop 'Aha!'-ing. It explains clearly a lot about the relationships I've had and the relationship I'm in now. The articles compiled from different authors including Dr. Phil are incredible and had manage to open up my mind further about things around me.
" You want a man who can make you laugh when you’re down and who laughs with you when you’re up, a man who listens and asks questions and responds. A man who rubs your feet to put you to sleep and who’s happy when you read or sing or dance for him.
You want a man who loves many things; his work, his landscape, a sports team, his friends. You want a man who knows that love is not a pie, that sex is not a sport, that faith (in the world, in each other) is a little like a full-time job. Most importantly you want a man who can continue to surprise you, for a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, which is to say a man who had a big imagination and who is willing to use it to win your heart. "
But my favourite has got to be the 'MANual' by Dr. Phil. It's all about the differences between the minds of men and women, how differently they communicate, perceive emotions, etc. These are some of my favourites. Haha!
While reading the relationships section, I couldn't stop 'Aha!'-ing. It explains clearly a lot about the relationships I've had and the relationship I'm in now. The articles compiled from different authors including Dr. Phil are incredible and had manage to open up my mind further about things around me.
" You want a man who can make you laugh when you’re down and who laughs with you when you’re up, a man who listens and asks questions and responds. A man who rubs your feet to put you to sleep and who’s happy when you read or sing or dance for him.
You want a man who loves many things; his work, his landscape, a sports team, his friends. You want a man who knows that love is not a pie, that sex is not a sport, that faith (in the world, in each other) is a little like a full-time job. Most importantly you want a man who can continue to surprise you, for a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, which is to say a man who had a big imagination and who is willing to use it to win your heart. "
But my favourite has got to be the 'MANual' by Dr. Phil. It's all about the differences between the minds of men and women, how differently they communicate, perceive emotions, etc. These are some of my favourites. Haha!
Dr. Phil: How many times have you looked at the man in your life and shook your head, and wondered, Can he really be that stupid/insensitive/tuned out/selfish/clueless? Before you judge the man in your life, figure him out.
Lunch at Tiffany's
Hi,
My back is aching because I have been sitting in this uncomfortable position for the past 3 weeks and my motivation to study for my last paper which is tomorrow is depleting. Haha! It is my last paper for my 3-year degree and I am just too tired of studying already. But hell, I will study for it. Myra is currently browsing through Tiffany's website and made me browse through it too and I want this.
Haha okay I just came across something else. I think I would straight away marry whoever that proposes me with this ring. Ahahaha, Myra I blame you for doing this to me! Okay my inspiration to update my blog is officially gone. Thanks to Tiffany's. Bye!
My back is aching because I have been sitting in this uncomfortable position for the past 3 weeks and my motivation to study for my last paper which is tomorrow is depleting. Haha! It is my last paper for my 3-year degree and I am just too tired of studying already. But hell, I will study for it. Myra is currently browsing through Tiffany's website and made me browse through it too and I want this.
Haha okay I just came across something else. I think I would straight away marry whoever that proposes me with this ring. Ahahaha, Myra I blame you for doing this to me! Okay my inspiration to update my blog is officially gone. Thanks to Tiffany's. Bye!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Fear
Fear. I think each and every one of use have our own fears. My fear is death. It is something that I think about constantly, every single day of my life. But my fear of not living is bigger than my fear of being dead. How are these two different? In my interpretation, being dead is the absence of your soul in your body. Your body stays in the grave and rot. Not living, on the other hand, is the opportunities that you are missing in life, not being able to get married, not being able to watch your kids grow, not being able to try achieving your dreams, not being able to say sorry to the people you might have offended or hurt, not being able to express your gratitude to those who'd always been there, not being able to tell the people you love that you will always love them. That's my fear, fear of not living, and missing out on life's greatest opportunities.
This had somehow made me think. If there are people out there having the same fear as I do, are they living their lives the way they want it? Are they trying hard enough to achieve their dreams? Are they lowering down their pride and ego to make peace? Have they expressed enough gratitude to the people who had always catch them when they fall? Have they showed enough love to the people they actually love? I know that I haven't done an awesome job in these. And I know that if I don't wake up tomorrow, my biggest regret while I was alive would be my failure to accomplish these things I've mentioned. And therefore, not living is my greatest fear.
This had somehow made me think. If there are people out there having the same fear as I do, are they living their lives the way they want it? Are they trying hard enough to achieve their dreams? Are they lowering down their pride and ego to make peace? Have they expressed enough gratitude to the people who had always catch them when they fall? Have they showed enough love to the people they actually love? I know that I haven't done an awesome job in these. And I know that if I don't wake up tomorrow, my biggest regret while I was alive would be my failure to accomplish these things I've mentioned. And therefore, not living is my greatest fear.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The Spark
Hi,
So I have discovered the good reasons behind the break up. The break up has finally allowed me to become an individual again, who I was and who I am and how I am supposed to be. I feel whole again, and I have never been any happier in life. I refuse to feel anything less than blessed, cos I am truly grateful with what I have now and what I have become. My mom told me that, when you are at your lowest point in life, there is only one way to get back up and that is by going back to your religion-where you're from. And so I did, and I am feeling all the happiness in the world that it is impossible for me to think that life sucks right now. This is truly the greatest gift I could ever get from a break up. Haha!
I think another important thing I have learned out of this whole thing is to be patient and have a lot of faith in God. I had a few friends who came to me and complained how their life suck and unfair. I used to feel that way about my life at times (who doesn't?), self pity I'd say. But I think that life is much bigger than that, and how could I feel so happy about life right now when my ex is trying to rub shit on my face, being dramatic about his new life and all? Because I have all the wonderful people around me, and that 1 unworthy person could never affect my life. That's how. We are the master of our own minds, therefore we control our own emotions. We only feel that life is unfair because we let ourselves feel that way, right? Am I making sense? I am feeling fever-ish out of a sudden. Okay, random! To conclude, I have found every good reasons about the break up. And I am very lucky, blessed and grateful. Life is colourful, and wonderful. So why fret on petty little things?
Love, dreamer.
So I have discovered the good reasons behind the break up. The break up has finally allowed me to become an individual again, who I was and who I am and how I am supposed to be. I feel whole again, and I have never been any happier in life. I refuse to feel anything less than blessed, cos I am truly grateful with what I have now and what I have become. My mom told me that, when you are at your lowest point in life, there is only one way to get back up and that is by going back to your religion-where you're from. And so I did, and I am feeling all the happiness in the world that it is impossible for me to think that life sucks right now. This is truly the greatest gift I could ever get from a break up. Haha!
I think another important thing I have learned out of this whole thing is to be patient and have a lot of faith in God. I had a few friends who came to me and complained how their life suck and unfair. I used to feel that way about my life at times (who doesn't?), self pity I'd say. But I think that life is much bigger than that, and how could I feel so happy about life right now when my ex is trying to rub shit on my face, being dramatic about his new life and all? Because I have all the wonderful people around me, and that 1 unworthy person could never affect my life. That's how. We are the master of our own minds, therefore we control our own emotions. We only feel that life is unfair because we let ourselves feel that way, right? Am I making sense? I am feeling fever-ish out of a sudden. Okay, random! To conclude, I have found every good reasons about the break up. And I am very lucky, blessed and grateful. Life is colourful, and wonderful. So why fret on petty little things?
Love, dreamer.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
The end followed by a new beginning.
Hi,
So I don't think it is necessary for me to go through everything from the beginning. Bottom line is that the person I thought I could really trust got a new partner 2 days after we ended our relationship. Hahaha. Yea, I always thought that there are certain things which should not happen to me, but they actually did happen. Like the car accident, when I least expected it. I'm only human who deserves to get angry but at the same time I have realized that things happen for the best reasons although I might not have discovered most of it yet. I had been in my comfort zone where I was also very protected and obligated in certain things. Like what my rainbow heart sister said, I was in a golden cage where everything was provided, but I couldn't do more than what was allowed.
I consider myself very lucky, to have a strong support system and to be out of a 3 year relationship by getting cheated on. It's so much easier to get over it but also the most painful as I had trusted and gave my heart to this person. After almost 3 weeks being single, I realized what I have been missing out in experiencing life before marriage. It also made me a stronger and bigger person, because I gave him a second chance when I had totally lost my feelings for him when he betrayed me one year ago. I was and still am capable of lowering down my ego to allow miracles to seem possible. I don't believe that people who couldn't respect me deserve the best of me. Therefore, I am very glad it is over. I have always believed that when you really want something so badly but it doesn't go your way, something much better than what you expect will come along. :)
Love, dreamer.
So I don't think it is necessary for me to go through everything from the beginning. Bottom line is that the person I thought I could really trust got a new partner 2 days after we ended our relationship. Hahaha. Yea, I always thought that there are certain things which should not happen to me, but they actually did happen. Like the car accident, when I least expected it. I'm only human who deserves to get angry but at the same time I have realized that things happen for the best reasons although I might not have discovered most of it yet. I had been in my comfort zone where I was also very protected and obligated in certain things. Like what my rainbow heart sister said, I was in a golden cage where everything was provided, but I couldn't do more than what was allowed.
I consider myself very lucky, to have a strong support system and to be out of a 3 year relationship by getting cheated on. It's so much easier to get over it but also the most painful as I had trusted and gave my heart to this person. After almost 3 weeks being single, I realized what I have been missing out in experiencing life before marriage. It also made me a stronger and bigger person, because I gave him a second chance when I had totally lost my feelings for him when he betrayed me one year ago. I was and still am capable of lowering down my ego to allow miracles to seem possible. I don't believe that people who couldn't respect me deserve the best of me. Therefore, I am very glad it is over. I have always believed that when you really want something so badly but it doesn't go your way, something much better than what you expect will come along. :)
Love, dreamer.
Monday, May 14, 2007
sitting, waiting, wishing
I love Jack Johnson. Too bad I can't go to Live Earth on 7th July.
So I'm not really depressed anymore, the feelings are fading. Thank god. But here I am, again. Who would have thought I'd be communicating with myself? So yea, my last bit of depression would be the 'sitting, wishing, hoping' part, despite the fact that yesterday was a good day. Submitted the arse-hard DOHA essay, and I passed my quiz for Economics of Money and Finance (thank god), watched Georgia Rule..a good one cos it made me cry in the end.
My sister in law told me, relationships are complicated. It's not just about loving each other. It's about being compatible. Somehow I never actually felt that way before with pea, maybe I tried to think we're compatible, but as time goes by I feel that we're getting further than compatible. Everything seems impossible now, I have tried really hard. We have tried to make it work since in the beginning of our relationship. Yet, I can't see myself in the future with pea. I hate to feel this way but my gut feeling keeps telling me that. I'll just be more positive and hold on tighter, and see how long more this can carry on.
love, dreamer.
So I'm not really depressed anymore, the feelings are fading. Thank god. But here I am, again. Who would have thought I'd be communicating with myself? So yea, my last bit of depression would be the 'sitting, wishing, hoping' part, despite the fact that yesterday was a good day. Submitted the arse-hard DOHA essay, and I passed my quiz for Economics of Money and Finance (thank god), watched Georgia Rule..a good one cos it made me cry in the end.
My sister in law told me, relationships are complicated. It's not just about loving each other. It's about being compatible. Somehow I never actually felt that way before with pea, maybe I tried to think we're compatible, but as time goes by I feel that we're getting further than compatible. Everything seems impossible now, I have tried really hard. We have tried to make it work since in the beginning of our relationship. Yet, I can't see myself in the future with pea. I hate to feel this way but my gut feeling keeps telling me that. I'll just be more positive and hold on tighter, and see how long more this can carry on.
love, dreamer.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Cameron Diaz
Hi blog,
so it seems like i'll be stuck with you til my depression goes away.bear with me for a couple of days till my pms is gone,alright?i'm so so so sick of this.ohh guess what time i slept?8AM,yup yup.
i've been fucking depressed for a week.maybe it's the workload.nah.more like i think that my future has been planned out,and it's certain,and i really hate it.not career,na-uh.career wise i'd be really happy if everything has been planned out til the next 10 years.more like i don't think that i am experiencing my young life enough and i'm already stuck,er,committed with someone else.and i think i'm being pressured by the whole "we're getting married" thing by everyone around me.sick of it.gosh why the fuck is this happening.i feel like i'm not doing what i'm supposed to be doing.i haven't done the things i wanna do,i haven't experienced the things i wanna experience,and oh guess what?i'm stuck with someone and so i can't do the things i want.so this brings me to Cameron Diaz,a hot SALTY (single woman after a long term relationship).Morrissey,one of Australia's top designers said "Salties get the chance to spend their youth making the most of new experiences".while everyone around me is sick of being single,me on the other hand hate being committed too fast.it's making me depressed.
I have always admired Cameron Diaz.She is strong,hot,not young but still makes the most of her life.i'm only 20 and my whole future has been planned out.and people have expectations from me,namely pea's fam.
so,blog,that's why i've created you.cos i can only express my insane depression to something or someone who doesn't know my circle of friends or boyfriend.please don't talk to me back,i'd freak out.i think this is insane.
love, dreamer.
so it seems like i'll be stuck with you til my depression goes away.bear with me for a couple of days till my pms is gone,alright?i'm so so so sick of this.ohh guess what time i slept?8AM,yup yup.
i've been fucking depressed for a week.maybe it's the workload.nah.more like i think that my future has been planned out,and it's certain,and i really hate it.not career,na-uh.career wise i'd be really happy if everything has been planned out til the next 10 years.more like i don't think that i am experiencing my young life enough and i'm already stuck,er,committed with someone else.and i think i'm being pressured by the whole "we're getting married" thing by everyone around me.sick of it.gosh why the fuck is this happening.i feel like i'm not doing what i'm supposed to be doing.i haven't done the things i wanna do,i haven't experienced the things i wanna experience,and oh guess what?i'm stuck with someone and so i can't do the things i want.so this brings me to Cameron Diaz,a hot SALTY (single woman after a long term relationship).Morrissey,one of Australia's top designers said "Salties get the chance to spend their youth making the most of new experiences".while everyone around me is sick of being single,me on the other hand hate being committed too fast.it's making me depressed.
I have always admired Cameron Diaz.She is strong,hot,not young but still makes the most of her life.i'm only 20 and my whole future has been planned out.and people have expectations from me,namely pea's fam.
so,blog,that's why i've created you.cos i can only express my insane depression to something or someone who doesn't know my circle of friends or boyfriend.please don't talk to me back,i'd freak out.i think this is insane.
love, dreamer.
unbelievably idiotic.
7.08am.
still awake.wide awake.welcome to existence blog.this is unbelievably idiotic that i am blogging while i can't sleep.took me 3 hours to try.i'd rather be up and do something productive.right,this is a big relieve,pfft.the last time i can't sleep was a year ago.took me 4 hours.i had to force cry myself so that i can sleep.i'm not coming home late again.bad bad bad.i'm friggin' tired but i'm not sleepy.perfect.please,please sleep,i'm begging myself!hope this will be my last time blogging here.fucking hell.
i can't sleep cos i can't stop thinking cos my brain is still functioning and hectic.i've been depressed lately.probably pms.i dunno.hope so.talked to myself while i was trying to sleep.blogging is a better way of talking to yourself,less weird.i'm so hating this.i need to study.but my body is friggin' tired like hell.
i think i can't sleep cos i'm depressed,stressed,hungry & thirsty.too lazy to eat or drink before i go to bed at 4 sumthin.hah,now i'm facing the consequences of being lazy.omg i don't talk to myself.this can't be happening.
still awake.wide awake.welcome to existence blog.this is unbelievably idiotic that i am blogging while i can't sleep.took me 3 hours to try.i'd rather be up and do something productive.right,this is a big relieve,pfft.the last time i can't sleep was a year ago.took me 4 hours.i had to force cry myself so that i can sleep.i'm not coming home late again.bad bad bad.i'm friggin' tired but i'm not sleepy.perfect.please,please sleep,i'm begging myself!hope this will be my last time blogging here.fucking hell.
i can't sleep cos i can't stop thinking cos my brain is still functioning and hectic.i've been depressed lately.probably pms.i dunno.hope so.talked to myself while i was trying to sleep.blogging is a better way of talking to yourself,less weird.i'm so hating this.i need to study.but my body is friggin' tired like hell.
i think i can't sleep cos i'm depressed,stressed,hungry & thirsty.too lazy to eat or drink before i go to bed at 4 sumthin.hah,now i'm facing the consequences of being lazy.omg i don't talk to myself.this can't be happening.
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