All I want to do now is to run away. That's what I do best. In fact, that's one of my best talents. I wish that for once I know what to do and what is right. That's something which I need to decide by myself, for myself. Isn't there a guide book which tells you what you should do in a given situation? Or what you should decide given the current circumstances? Haven't we heard from somewhere that only fools listen to their heart? Maybe there isn't such guide book because to know what is right and what to decide, we have to believe in ourselves enough and know what ground we're standing on. How does a book guide you into telling you what to believe in, because different people hold different beliefs and different sets of values. There! That's when I run. But running is not growing. If you don't risk you don't learn, thus you don't grow.
I wish I know what the future holds, so that I can be prepared when I am about to fall. But if I am prepared, obviously I could stop myself from falling. How do I learn then? I barely slept last night. I was probably asleep for 3 hours and was half awake half dreaming during the remaining hours. The whole time I was thinking of ways to never let myself fall, perhaps at least the possibility of preventing myself from falling, and how to get back up if I ever fall again. I think that I have had enough heartbreaks (not that I'm implying that I'm in a relationship crisis or anything). It wasn't many. But broken enough to discreetly diminish my faith and beliefs.
love, dreamer.
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