Numb

Have you ever been in a place where you are in the middle of nowhere? You want to go somewhere safe but if you start walking on the road to your left, you'd be walking on pieces of broken glasses. If you start walking on the road to your right, you'd get your chest slit opened and your heart stabbed by an asylum escapee. The latter is quick, but it's painful. Or do you just stand where you are right now, wait for some kind of a miracle to happen by holding on to faith. Oh, did I mention that faith backfired on you the last time? Expecting and hoping are out of the list and you can't count on them.

I am being the best I can be because I believe that anything good and worth it is hard. People don't just give up when they want to have something right? And yes, I was the kind of person who gives up all the time when times are hard. In anything. So is this some kind of a patience test? I should get a medal then shouldn't I? All I want to know is whether my effort will be paid off with generous credits, or am I just kidding myself? I am in the middle of nowhere, where hopes and dreams aren't allowed. Left, right, middle....all the same.

love, dreamer.

Happy Lovers' Day

I so love Like a Star by Corinne Bailey Rae. Oh, happy valentine's day to everyone who loves me :)
I feel so...single. I will throw my slippers to any couple who displays their affection publicly today, no kidding.

I visited my bestfriend at her place as it was her birthday and she happened to have a massive headache. And I couldn't stop giggling watching her boyfriend pampering her and caring for her because I never thought he's that type. No wonder she still gets weak in her knees after 1+ years. I'm happy that she gets part of the happiness she truly deserves.

This actually made me think about being moderate. You know how humans are never satisfied with what they have. Too little of something and too much of something is never good. It's best to be somewhere in the middle to attain good balance. When you get too little of something, you crave for more. When you get too much of something, you wish it would go away. I on the other hand personally feel that too much of something is better than too little of something, cos that's where your satisfaction is overmaximised.

love, dreamer.

Untitled

I have about 35 days left in KL. Then I'm off to Sydney, then Melbourne. It's as scary as hell but I am looking forward to it. Hell I don't even know if I'm good enough to get a job there. I hope I get a job real soon. I feel like a hopeless unemployed graduate.

If you want something, you gotta work for it like you want it. Not sit around, waiting for things to just happen.

I need a getaway.

Ex-shopaholic, please!

Past my bedtime but I found myself thinking about things and couldn't stop myself. Another A-ha! moment for me. I think everyone labels me as a shopaholic. Yes, I admit that I was once a shopaholic who couldn't survive without going shopping at least 4 days a week? You know how sometimes people tend to either overeat, or overshop (if there's such a term) when they're emotionally unstable? Yes, I was emotionally unstable everyday of my life up until when, well, my previous relationship ended. I wasn't happy and I had to look for happiness elsewhere. Shopping. Then, when I finally got out from the golden cage I was trapped in, I found my own happiness, true happiness which I can hold on to *clap clap*.

Why I randomly blog about this is because I was wondering why I haven't shop or even bother to shop at all for weeks now. And I'm only deprived of socialising. Nothing else. So there I go, found my answer to my own question. And decided to blog instead of talk to myself in my sleep. Thanks.

love, dreamer.

Nothing Lasts Forever

I have always believed that nothing good lasts forever. I don't know if that's being pessimistic, or realistic. But it has always proved to be true. The only thing which lasts forever are diamonds. But then again, who am I to be sure of that? We say that nothing good lasts forever when something good in our life goes away. But we say the opposite when good things are happening to us. I can't wait to be proven wrong about what I believe :)

Note: The title to this entry was inspired by a friend's quote I came across.

Rudd wins

Apart from suffering muscle aches and hunger and packing my stuff, one thing managed to make my day a little better. At last, Australia is a member of Kyoto Protocol. Hopefully the US will join too one day, as it is the biggest contributor of green gas emissions. Go Rudd! He truly is winning Australians' support by signing the agreement to tackle climate change. Yeay. Finally the voices of concerned Australians are heard. Oh well, Australia is one of the biggest contributors of green gas emissions too, so I'm happy they're taking responsibilities on their actions. Other than that, I know nothing about politics and am not interested.

I hope Malaysians will be just as concerned as Australians about climate change one day. KL city is suffering from chronic air pollution every year and I am absolutely shocked by how everyone is complaining about it, but make no effort to solve the problem. Hello? I think that is the problem with Malaysians. We complain and we expect the government to do something about it rather than taking part in solving the problem. Does it have anything to do with our country not controlled by a Democratic government? My knowledge in that area is very limited, thanks. People complain about their problems, over-think about their problems, but they don't try to work on solutions. Life is too short for that.

10 days to pure happiness :)

Miss Cranky

Hi,

Miss Cranky started being friends with me again a few days ago. Hi Miss Cranky, haven't seen you for a while.

I am easily irritated these days and the bitch in me is waiting oh-so-desperately to come out one of these days. Yes, I am very cranky and easily irritated. No, not having my menses. So people, I would like to apologise for my future comings of rude-ness. Don't even bother asking why (see, rude-ness alert).

I am going back on the 13th of December, 2 weeks from now. That actually adds up to the pressure I am having now. Excited, but very much pressured. Looking forward to it, but not too much.

Men don't complete women

How many times in your life have you heard people around you saying "He/she completes me"? I think that phrase is so misused that it is coming to a point where it doesn't bring that much of a meaning anymore. Ladies, men in your life don't complete you. Your other half doesn't complete you. They only add up to your happiness in your life. I got this message on Oprah a couple of months ago and it felt like it's speaking to me. You have to make yourself feel complete first before you let someone in your life. A recipe for disaster: depending on your partner for your happiness.

From my point of view, and experience, and observations, letting your partner control your happiness will only bring you down faster than you can imagine. Seriously, not only "You are the air that I breathe" sounds corny, it is also plain stupid. That's like letting your partner control how you feel. I think that before you let someone take your breath away, you need to catch a breath first. That means that you have found your own happiness, you know what makes you happy and how to make yourself happy. That way, when your partner fails to make you happy at some points in your relationship, it won't bring you down and instead helps you focus on other things which makes you happy. That is the ticket to a healthy lifestyle (no?).

Men only make our world a better place, not complete it :)

P/s: I so love this and this and this. Hahaha!

A step forward

Hi,

I'm supposed to be cleaning up the never-ending rubbish which I have accumulated for the past 2 years but there are just too much junk that I don't know where to start. I'm hoping that someone would come to help me out. The hardest thing to throw out is my magazines which I have been subscribing to. There are too many papers to be recycled that I think I can save a forest. Went to the J.P's office today and good news is that she said I can lodge my application when I come back to Australia before my student visa expires which is in March 08. Which means I can go back to k.l anytime I want but all flights are sold out. Rar.

I am scared and uncertain about moving forward. I hope that I pass my exams so that I can safely say that I am done with my degree. I can't believe that 4 years ago I just finished high school and thought to myself.."Gosh, I still have 4 more years of studying." And here I am, being presented with many opportunities ahead of me. Hell, I can even have a baby if I wanna! But I am so not ready to grow up and be a responsible adult. Give me a few months and I'll be on the right track. I want to do so many things (cos I always want everything, pfft) but given the limited resources and skills, I should just stick to what I can do. I am so glad that I have grown with my fellow friends together and embarked on this challenging yet interesting journey of growing up.

Life is too wonderful to be taken too seriously. And that is something I want to learn and appreciate.

Go Green!

Hi,

Labour won the election. Kevin Rudd is the new Prime Minister of Australia (Jijo please take note of this :p). Anyways I am very much looking forward to going back to k.l on the 18th December. I will definitely have my double mushroom swiss at Burger King first at KLIA then I will have my supper at a mamak after I have surprised my family. Now my problem is who is going to pick me up at the airport since I'm not telling anyone I'm coming back on the 18th. Everyone thinks I'm coming back on the 30th. Haha! I have a strong feeling that I might bring forward my flight to the 13th of December if I can get the documents for my TR application ready as soon as possible.

My brother is definitely getting married in July next year. We're going to Jakarta in January (Kak Nana I am hoping that you would come along, please!). The best part about weddings is that family friends come up to your parents and they compliment on how you've grown to be a pretty girl and how they want to matchmake you with their sons. We girls get that, yes? I'm hungry. Bye.