Numb

Have you ever been in a place where you are in the middle of nowhere? You want to go somewhere safe but if you start walking on the road to your left, you'd be walking on pieces of broken glasses. If you start walking on the road to your right, you'd get your chest slit opened and your heart stabbed by an asylum escapee. The latter is quick, but it's painful. Or do you just stand where you are right now, wait for some kind of a miracle to happen by holding on to faith. Oh, did I mention that faith backfired on you the last time? Expecting and hoping are out of the list and you can't count on them.

I am being the best I can be because I believe that anything good and worth it is hard. People don't just give up when they want to have something right? And yes, I was the kind of person who gives up all the time when times are hard. In anything. So is this some kind of a patience test? I should get a medal then shouldn't I? All I want to know is whether my effort will be paid off with generous credits, or am I just kidding myself? I am in the middle of nowhere, where hopes and dreams aren't allowed. Left, right, middle....all the same.

love, dreamer.