Put Into Words

Yesterday while chatting with some colleagues, we talked about our 'gifts'. One of them could hypnotize, the other one could read people's behavior. They're interesting people I can tell you that. So I asked him, what he thinks of me. He paused for a while and his mind wandered off which took him longer than it should to answer my question. He said I have a contradicting personality and I have unresolved issues. I gave him a sarcastic smile but told him that I kinda agree with him.

It's ironic how I'd always known that fact but could never quite explain them in the right words. Contradicting. Unresolved issues. They're so simple yet it took me long enough to find out. But haha, no they don't apply to every situation in my life. But yea I do contradict myself at times (you do too okay). Maybe it's because I don't know what I want, and I don't know what would be right. Then again, my dear wise friend told me, "do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?". From then on I try to remember that and choose to be happy, when decisions to be made confuse me.

I'm getting myself too attached that I am scaring myself by that fact. Haha! What a joke. Nothing lasts forever. So why do we put so much energy into something we fancy, which gets us too attached, and when it's time to let go we break ourselves. So what's the point? But then we still do it cos we know we will be happy in getting what we want. Why should anything else matters when you're happy? (An illustration of me contradicting myself).

I want to save the environment by helping to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide released. But I can't sleep without the air-cond turned on. Yup. The boyfriend pointed this out to me. Great, I can never save the world now, can I? Pfft.

love, dreamer.