In Between Dreams

Okay so here's something honest.
I used to think that blogging is stupid and it's for people who don't have a life of their own.
I'm sorry but I have to be honest about what I used to think.
Until, well, until I felt like I needed a place where nobody knows me and where I can spill shits to. Which was May 2007.

That was just an introduction which has nothing to do with this post. Sorry. So I got inspired to write this post when I felt a pinch in my stomach yesterday. I can still feel it at times. Have you ever been in a situation where you are stuck in between two options, and both seem so vague to you. You don't know what the future holds for both options and you could only keep your eyes closed and take the risk of walking in the thick fog. What's worse is when your heart tells you something but you choose to be optimistic. Now now, optimistic or idealistic? I'd say idealistic. And we're supposed to be realistic. To me, if I were to be realistic it would mean giving up on a chance being given to me, and not being patient enough (rule out your friends' experiences in the same case). Being idealistic, is of course, being a little bit too dreamy and a little bit too optimistic. You know what your head is telling you. You know that no matter how vague the picture in your mind is, being idealistic will not bring you to where you want to be.

So I'm conflicting with these two vague options. You want a sweet apple but you know you're only getting the sour orange (wtf?). Your heart isn't leaning towards any one of it more than it does on the other. You're just stuck in the middle, with extra weight in your heart whichever path you choose.

Fuck reality.

love, dreamer.