Ex-shopaholic, please!

Past my bedtime but I found myself thinking about things and couldn't stop myself. Another A-ha! moment for me. I think everyone labels me as a shopaholic. Yes, I admit that I was once a shopaholic who couldn't survive without going shopping at least 4 days a week? You know how sometimes people tend to either overeat, or overshop (if there's such a term) when they're emotionally unstable? Yes, I was emotionally unstable everyday of my life up until when, well, my previous relationship ended. I wasn't happy and I had to look for happiness elsewhere. Shopping. Then, when I finally got out from the golden cage I was trapped in, I found my own happiness, true happiness which I can hold on to *clap clap*.

Why I randomly blog about this is because I was wondering why I haven't shop or even bother to shop at all for weeks now. And I'm only deprived of socialising. Nothing else. So there I go, found my answer to my own question. And decided to blog instead of talk to myself in my sleep. Thanks.

love, dreamer.

Nothing Lasts Forever

I have always believed that nothing good lasts forever. I don't know if that's being pessimistic, or realistic. But it has always proved to be true. The only thing which lasts forever are diamonds. But then again, who am I to be sure of that? We say that nothing good lasts forever when something good in our life goes away. But we say the opposite when good things are happening to us. I can't wait to be proven wrong about what I believe :)

Note: The title to this entry was inspired by a friend's quote I came across.

Rudd wins

Apart from suffering muscle aches and hunger and packing my stuff, one thing managed to make my day a little better. At last, Australia is a member of Kyoto Protocol. Hopefully the US will join too one day, as it is the biggest contributor of green gas emissions. Go Rudd! He truly is winning Australians' support by signing the agreement to tackle climate change. Yeay. Finally the voices of concerned Australians are heard. Oh well, Australia is one of the biggest contributors of green gas emissions too, so I'm happy they're taking responsibilities on their actions. Other than that, I know nothing about politics and am not interested.

I hope Malaysians will be just as concerned as Australians about climate change one day. KL city is suffering from chronic air pollution every year and I am absolutely shocked by how everyone is complaining about it, but make no effort to solve the problem. Hello? I think that is the problem with Malaysians. We complain and we expect the government to do something about it rather than taking part in solving the problem. Does it have anything to do with our country not controlled by a Democratic government? My knowledge in that area is very limited, thanks. People complain about their problems, over-think about their problems, but they don't try to work on solutions. Life is too short for that.

10 days to pure happiness :)

Miss Cranky

Hi,

Miss Cranky started being friends with me again a few days ago. Hi Miss Cranky, haven't seen you for a while.

I am easily irritated these days and the bitch in me is waiting oh-so-desperately to come out one of these days. Yes, I am very cranky and easily irritated. No, not having my menses. So people, I would like to apologise for my future comings of rude-ness. Don't even bother asking why (see, rude-ness alert).

I am going back on the 13th of December, 2 weeks from now. That actually adds up to the pressure I am having now. Excited, but very much pressured. Looking forward to it, but not too much.

Men don't complete women

How many times in your life have you heard people around you saying "He/she completes me"? I think that phrase is so misused that it is coming to a point where it doesn't bring that much of a meaning anymore. Ladies, men in your life don't complete you. Your other half doesn't complete you. They only add up to your happiness in your life. I got this message on Oprah a couple of months ago and it felt like it's speaking to me. You have to make yourself feel complete first before you let someone in your life. A recipe for disaster: depending on your partner for your happiness.

From my point of view, and experience, and observations, letting your partner control your happiness will only bring you down faster than you can imagine. Seriously, not only "You are the air that I breathe" sounds corny, it is also plain stupid. That's like letting your partner control how you feel. I think that before you let someone take your breath away, you need to catch a breath first. That means that you have found your own happiness, you know what makes you happy and how to make yourself happy. That way, when your partner fails to make you happy at some points in your relationship, it won't bring you down and instead helps you focus on other things which makes you happy. That is the ticket to a healthy lifestyle (no?).

Men only make our world a better place, not complete it :)

P/s: I so love this and this and this. Hahaha!

A step forward

Hi,

I'm supposed to be cleaning up the never-ending rubbish which I have accumulated for the past 2 years but there are just too much junk that I don't know where to start. I'm hoping that someone would come to help me out. The hardest thing to throw out is my magazines which I have been subscribing to. There are too many papers to be recycled that I think I can save a forest. Went to the J.P's office today and good news is that she said I can lodge my application when I come back to Australia before my student visa expires which is in March 08. Which means I can go back to k.l anytime I want but all flights are sold out. Rar.

I am scared and uncertain about moving forward. I hope that I pass my exams so that I can safely say that I am done with my degree. I can't believe that 4 years ago I just finished high school and thought to myself.."Gosh, I still have 4 more years of studying." And here I am, being presented with many opportunities ahead of me. Hell, I can even have a baby if I wanna! But I am so not ready to grow up and be a responsible adult. Give me a few months and I'll be on the right track. I want to do so many things (cos I always want everything, pfft) but given the limited resources and skills, I should just stick to what I can do. I am so glad that I have grown with my fellow friends together and embarked on this challenging yet interesting journey of growing up.

Life is too wonderful to be taken too seriously. And that is something I want to learn and appreciate.

Go Green!

Hi,

Labour won the election. Kevin Rudd is the new Prime Minister of Australia (Jijo please take note of this :p). Anyways I am very much looking forward to going back to k.l on the 18th December. I will definitely have my double mushroom swiss at Burger King first at KLIA then I will have my supper at a mamak after I have surprised my family. Now my problem is who is going to pick me up at the airport since I'm not telling anyone I'm coming back on the 18th. Everyone thinks I'm coming back on the 30th. Haha! I have a strong feeling that I might bring forward my flight to the 13th of December if I can get the documents for my TR application ready as soon as possible.

My brother is definitely getting married in July next year. We're going to Jakarta in January (Kak Nana I am hoping that you would come along, please!). The best part about weddings is that family friends come up to your parents and they compliment on how you've grown to be a pretty girl and how they want to matchmake you with their sons. We girls get that, yes? I'm hungry. Bye.

Oprah's 'Live Your Best Life'

I have had this book with me for nearly 2 years. And only tonight I decided to look through it and got hooked on it for almost 3 hours. It has 3 parts consisting of Your Personal Best, Relationships, and Living in the World. Of course, I got hooked on the Relationships section which discusses everything from dating, couples, marriage, sex, parenting, etc.

While reading the relationships section, I couldn't stop 'Aha!'-ing. It explains clearly a lot about the relationships I've had and the relationship I'm in now. The articles compiled from different authors including Dr. Phil are incredible and had manage to open up my mind further about things around me.

" You want a man who can make you laugh when you’re down and who laughs with you when you’re up, a man who listens and asks questions and responds. A man who rubs your feet to put you to sleep and who’s happy when you read or sing or dance for him.

You want a man who loves many things; his work, his landscape, a sports team, his friends. You want a man who knows that love is not a pie, that sex is not a sport, that faith (in the world, in each other) is a little like a full-time job. Most importantly you want a man who can continue to surprise you, for a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, which is to say a man who had a big imagination and who is willing to use it to win your heart. "

But my favourite has got to be the 'MANual' by Dr. Phil. It's all about the differences between the minds of men and women, how differently they communicate, perceive emotions, etc. These are some of my favourites. Haha!

Dr. Phil: How many times have you looked at the man in your life and shook your head, and wondered, Can he really be that stupid/insensitive/tuned out/selfish/clueless? Before you judge the man in your life, figure him out.

Women express emotion verbally, and men express it by using their currency (what they value the most).

Relationship in general and intimacy in particular are all about taking down your defenses. Intimacy means trusting people enough to give them the power to hurt you, an absolute contrary to a man’s nature. You need him to be a partner and a soft place for you to fall.

For the record, I am learning to take down my defenses, for the first time.

Lunch at Tiffany's

Hi,

My back is aching because I have been sitting in this uncomfortable position for the past 3 weeks and my motivation to study for my last paper which is tomorrow is depleting. Haha! It is my last paper for my 3-year degree and I am just too tired of studying already. But hell, I will study for it. Myra is currently browsing through Tiffany's website and made me browse through it too and I want this.

Haha okay I just came across something else. I think I would straight away marry whoever that proposes me with this ring. Ahahaha, Myra I blame you for doing this to me! Okay my inspiration to update my blog is officially gone. Thanks to Tiffany's. Bye!

Fear

Fear. I think each and every one of use have our own fears. My fear is death. It is something that I think about constantly, every single day of my life. But my fear of not living is bigger than my fear of being dead. How are these two different? In my interpretation, being dead is the absence of your soul in your body. Your body stays in the grave and rot. Not living, on the other hand, is the opportunities that you are missing in life, not being able to get married, not being able to watch your kids grow, not being able to try achieving your dreams, not being able to say sorry to the people you might have offended or hurt, not being able to express your gratitude to those who'd always been there, not being able to tell the people you love that you will always love them. That's my fear, fear of not living, and missing out on life's greatest opportunities.

This had somehow made me think. If there are people out there having the same fear as I do, are they living their lives the way they want it? Are they trying hard enough to achieve their dreams? Are they lowering down their pride and ego to make peace? Have they expressed enough gratitude to the people who had always catch them when they fall? Have they showed enough love to the people they actually love? I know that I haven't done an awesome job in these. And I know that if I don't wake up tomorrow, my biggest regret while I was alive would be my failure to accomplish these things I've mentioned. And therefore, not living is my greatest fear.